


Inside His Mind

by RottenFruitz



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Dehumanization, erm, maybe? - Freeform, not sure how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25872835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RottenFruitz/pseuds/RottenFruitz
Summary: The mind of a man without his eyes, a tongue, or a thought to occupy his brain.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Inside His Mind

Chase does not remember a time where he could see. He does not remember a time where he could taste. He does not remember a time where he did not belong entirely to Anti.

He does not miss his old life. All he knows of it are vague shapes and colors and voices that he can no longer decipher.

He does not feel nostalgic anymore.

Chase’s life, as far as he knows it, is quiet and calm. It is controlled by a series of carefully programmed instincts reinforced by rewards. Not that he knows any of this.

He spends most of his time cutting things; things that are cold and solid, things that are warm and ooze onto his fingers, things that wiggle underneath his knife, that have thick bone in the center that takes a while to slice through.

The repetition is nice. He ‘likes’ it, if he can even do such a thing anymore.

_ Up. Down. Up. Down. _ And then, sometimes:  _ Back. Forth.  _ Or:  _ In. Out _ . If there is something that has to be sawed through or gutted.

Sometimes he slices his fingers up. He is missing the tips and pads and fingernails of a few of them. He doesn’t care. He does not feel pain anymore.

Chase is not aware how he is fed. Only that Anti feeds him when he is hungry, and sometimes when he isn’t. If he had the free will to fiddle with the corner of his mouth, he would have felt a small tube there, taped to his cheek and running down his throat and into his stomach. This is where his food comes from; when his stomach is empty Anti pumps food through it. If Chase were still a normal human being, this tube would be immensely uncomfortable. But he doesn’t feel uncomfortable anymore, so he does not register its existence.

When he does eat, he savors it. It is the one sense he seems to have left. It is a reward. The food he’s given is always delicious. A cupcake. A bit of chicken broth. Part of a hamburger. A mouse, still wriggling and squeaking as he sinks his teeth in and laps up what comes out of it. All delicious things. All rewards.

Anti’s voice is a reward, too, if it is used properly. When Anti gives him praise, he is over the moon. In a sense, anyway. The action that elicited the response is saved for later; filed away in the neat file cabinet that is now his brain. Whenever he is asked to do it again, the response is always snappier and the task is finished quicker.

Criticism, in a similar way, is devastating to his mind. Lucky for him, Anti is (shockingly) a firm believer in positive reinforcement. He is barely reprimanded. Like a dog, he is trained up with treats. And pats on the head, sometimes.

Petting  _ could _ be considered another reward, but it is certainly nowhere near as gratifying for Chase as a bit of food. It is nice though, to feel clawed fingers on his scalp, itching the spots he can’t touch because Anti didn’t give him explicit permission. Another ploy. Another trick to reinforce the instincts in his brain.

_ Do what I say. I’ll scratch your itches for you. _

Or, even better,

_ I’ll let you scratch them yourself. Even if only for a little while. _

But Chase does not know any of this. He hardly ever thinks anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope ya enjoyed! :D


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